Sparkle, Sparkle
by sylphxpression
Summary: Sometimes even a Labyrinth can't keep the relatives out. Jareth is invaded by cousins, aunts, uncles, and maybe the odd grandparent.
1. Chapter 1

Meet the Family

Meet the Family

Jareth eyed himself critically in his bedroom mirror. His hair looked suitably jagged and careless, but maybe just a touch of colour for a change? Frowning, he ran his index finger over a blonde lock. A trail of brilliant green followed his fingertip. He smiled, satisfied, and added a few more verdant highlights.

Next, his clothing. He was feeling extravagant today, the gauzy cloak might be nice… No, he should save that for special occasions. Baby snatching, for instance. He gave his reflection a secret smile. He truly enjoyed his occasional Aboveground excursions. Mortals made splendid diversions. They tended to cower in an utterly gratifying way.

The smile reversed itself and he traced the gold and silver medallion he always wore pensively. Just then it had felt somewhat cold. Then he shrugged; it must have been a trick of the mind, er, skin. He shrugged again, turning his mind back to the question of what he would wear for the first part of the day. He snapped his fingers and was suddenly wearing a green jacket elaborately embroidered with gold thread over a lace edged shirt that he allowed to gape open and expose his chest and medallion.

He pulled his boots on over the cream coloured pants he had been wearing all along, then tugged his gray leather gloves on. With a final self-satisfied smirk at his reflection he strode out of his private rooms and down the corridor towards his throne room. A goblin suddenly hurtled from that direction. It scrabbled to a stop, stared at him in horror and then ran past him with a shriek.

Jareth whipped around and stared after the creature, nonplussed. What in the Underground could make a _goblin_ behave like that? With a disturbed frown and decidedly dampened mood, the ruler of the Labyrinth continued on his way. Something was disturbing the Castle Beyond the Goblin City, and Jareth wanted to know what it was.

When he entered his throne room, his sense of wrongness increased. The goblins seemed tense, glancing toward him nervously. The normal carousing wasn't happening. Jareth turned, frowning, to his throne. He froze. Someone was sitting in HIS throne. Worse, worse, far worse: That someone was Thelte. Her hair was royal blue now, but he still recognized the small figure who was casually lounging on _his_ throne.

Every goblin in the room, possibly the realm, was standing stock-still. They were staring at their King in utter horror. Jareth was paler than ever and his gloved hands were trembling. His made-up eyes were narrowed, directing fury in shades of blue and brown at the little fey in his seat. She was idly kicking her feet and staring at the ceiling. With the deadly grace of a cat, Jareth began to stalk forward.

"You know," Thelte remarked suddenly, not taking her eyes off the bunny shaped stain on the ceiling, "I've always liked this chair. It's very comfortable." Jareth froze, stunned by the gall of this declaration. A mad gleam lit his mismatched eyes. A crystal suddenly appeared in his hand, and he dropped it. Upwards. With a shriek, Thelte followed the orb p to the high ceiling.

There was utter silence, a rare gift in the realm of goblins. Jareth sauntered over to his throne and lounged smugly on it. He gave his cowering goblins a benevolent smile. Finally, he looked up at the ceiling. He cocked his head mockingly giving the fey girl an inviting smile. She glowered back at him, lying the ceiling. They continued their staring contest for another few minutes. Finally Thelte sighed and let her royal blue head drop back onto the grease bunny.

"Alright," she grumbled, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sat in your little chair. Will you let me down now?" she finished plaintively. Jareth tapped his lips withhis finger in a contemplative manner. He gave her a saintly smile.

"Yes, cousin dear, you can come down now." He made a slight gesture. With a second shriek, Thelte fell down. She landed with several "oof!"s on a knot of cowering goblins. With a belligerent look for her older cousin, she carelessly extricated herself from the mound of stunned creatures. Jareth continued to smile blandly.

"Good," he said brightly once she was standing, "I have some buisiness to take care of, and would like the pleasure of company, cousin. Now." She stopped picking goblin hair off her blue dress to pout at him petulently. Then she rolled her honey coloured eyes in an exasperated way.

"This really isn't _fair_," she protested in a whine, "I'm supposed to be on holiday. Mum said I could do whatever I like during break, because, because I got such high marks on the exams. She says that I'm mature enough to be on my own. I just dropped by to visit my favorite cousin. And," she added triumphantly, "Mum won't be happy with you _at all _when she finds out you dropped me on the ceiling." She folded her arms and smirked up at the tall fey. He was unimpressed.

"Thelte," he drawled, still smiling, "In case it failed to catch your attention, your mother is; sadly; absent. Furthermore, I happen to be King of the realm you have so fecklessly infiltrated. I could quite legally toss you royal-blue head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench. Mostly because it's my law." Thelte looked very started. She obviously hadn't considered the consequences of her little jaunt very well at all. Jareth tilted his head mockingly.

He turned to the large doors that opened to the Castle foreyard. A few goblins scrambled to tug them open. Finally Jareth tired of watching them struggle and opened the doors himself. Thelte followed docilely on his heels as he walked through the Goblin City to the city gates. The guard on duty stood to attention, eyeing his monarch nervously. Jareth smiled icily at the creature.

"Milksop," he began,

"Mills, Yehr Majesty," the guard corrected automatically.

"Yes" Jareth said with an impatient edge to his voice, "Explain to me how _this_ came to be in my Castle?" he gestured to the sulking adolescent scuffing her boots in the dust. The goblin gave Thelte a look of horror.

"I, eh, I... heh... That is... I... well..." the wretched creature petered out miserably. Jareth made a show of attentiveness. As Mills fell into silence, he smiled cheerfully.

"All fine reasons, Milp. But I find I'm not in the mood for explanations." With that, the flagstones under the armoured goblin's large feet opened up and Mills disappeared with a yelp and a clatter. Jareth turned back to his royal blue cousin.

Who had disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

Deals With the Devil

Deals With the Devil

Jareth wasn't particularly concerend about how Thelte had done it. Nor did he care where she was. _I'll have to check to make sure she really is gone,_ he decided, _then I can get back to my life._ With a twist of his wrist, a crystal appeared. Jareth concentrated on searching his Labyrinth for his uninvited guest. Wherever she was, she was nowhere in the Labyrinth.

Satisfied that the Cobalt Terror had gone off to trouble some other corner of the Underground, the Goblin King went back to his Castle. He was so relieved by Thelte's disappearance that he didn't even bog any other goblins. He just punted most of them the impressive distance from one end of the throne room to the other. In fact, the hall was a bit small for this activity: The kicked goblins tended to crash into the opposite wall. Lucky that his subjects had such thick heads, then.

After that memorable day, Thelte went straight out of Jareth's mind. Which made the surprise all the more unpleasant when Thelte's mother showed up on the threshold of the Labyrinth. Jareth discovered this follow-up invasion by sheer chance. Naturally, despite the Labyrinth's dense ( in more than one way) population, not one of his subjects noticed let alone reported the presence of the fey woman.

Jareth, however, was not so blissfully oblivious. He nearly appeared on top of his aunt. _Oh, bollocks!_ he swore mentally, hiding around a corner. She had nearly seen him. He'd been about to have a word with that dwarf, Hoggett or some such, about what happened to gardeners who didn't meet their quota of dead or disabled fairies. He could hear the idiot now, with the slow upward count and sporadic spritzing sounds.

"Hoggett! _Hoggett!_" Jareth hissed desperately, keeping an eye on his aunt. She was making impatient gestures at the stubbornly blank walls of the Labyrinth. He was glad that at least the maze had at least listened to the threats he had flung around after the last relatively visitation. _Such a pity,_ Jareth thought with disgust,_ That the most intelligent entity in my realm besides myself are the walls._ "_Hoggett!"_ The spraying sounds stopped.

Jareth waited impatiently, listening to the hesitating shuffling come closer. As soon as the tiny figure was in view, the Goblin King pounced on him. He shook the little creature by one oversized, hair-filled ear and shoof him viciously. "Owwwooo!" the dwarf howled.

"_Next _time, when I call you, you _hop _on it, Hogbreath! Or you'll be spending the rest of your wretched life at the bottom of an oubliette!" he snarled. Relatives made him even more cross than usual. He threw his imbecile subject into the dust. He checked to make sure the other fey was still preoccupied.

He sneered down at the dwarf. "Hogbrain," he started in the tones of one attempting to instruct an idiot, "Can it be that you have, tragically, become deaf? Or have you merely lost your memory? In which case it is _fortunate_ for you that I remember, perfectly, what I said would happen to _anyone_ who allowed my relations to wander freely about my realm." His voice was dangerous but low.

"I remember that perfec'ly, Yehr Majesty," the dwarf said cringingly, "And if I saw any of yehr family, yeh ken be sure I'd-" Jareth interrupted this assurance by grabbing the creature by the nose and forcibly directing "Hogbrain's" gaze toward Jareth's aunt. The dwarf stilled at the sight of the imperious fey lady.

Once Jareth had jerked him back around the corner, the dwarf fell the short distance to his knees and grabbed his monarch's leather clad knee in supplication. "No, Yehr Majesty! I swear I didn' see 'er! Don't wrap me in concertina wire and toss me in the Bog of Stench! Please!" Jareth kicked the groveling creature away from him.

"Listen to me, Hogface-"

"Hoggle"

"Yes, Hoghead, now _listen_. This time, I shall be generous. This time. If anything even _remotely_ like this happens again, you will be bathing your wounds in Bogwater!" This threat delivered, the Goblin King decided it was time to deal with the real problem: Morgan. He appeared leaning casually in a niche near her.

"Hello, Auntie," he drawled. Morgan turned to her nephew. Jareth was pleased by how out of sorts his self-possessed aunt was looking. Her face looked washed out and weary, and was flushed pink with frustration from haggling with the walls. For a moment, she seemed at a loss for what to say. Then she drew herself up.

"Jareth, where is Thelte?" she demanded without preamble. Jareth smirked, covering his mouth with one gloved hand and pretending to yawn.

"Really, Morgan, you should try to keep from losing them. I know you have other children, but..." he chided. His aunt lookedas though she wanted to choke him to death.

"I sent her _here._ To _you._ You've _lost my daughter?!"_ she shrieked. Her long fingers crooked into claws. She appeared to be about to commit Goblin King Assassination Attempt #9.

"Next time you attempt to foist your little brats on some unsuspecting person, I suggest you make sure that the foisted-upon being has agreed to keep them for you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do have things to do." he said cooly. He prepared to appear directly in the throne room.

"Wait! Jareth, please, Thelte is missing, I've looked everywhere, help me find her!" Morgan cried in motherly anguish. Jareth felt that it served her right. Having children in the first place, then raising them up to be such little beasts richly warranted the loss of one of the little monsters. In fact, Jareth was always surprised that no one had ever wished one of the delinquents away to the Goblins. Not that they'd make particularly _good_ goblins, but still...

"What will you give me if I do?" Jareth asked casually. Morgan gasped indignantly and he smiled. A very catlike smile it was, too. All smugness. "It's only fair, auntie dearest. I didn't lose the brat, so why should I look for her?"

"The fact that she's family has no bearing at all on the matter I see." Morgan said sarcastically. Jareth quirked an eyebrow at her and said nothing. He continued to smile. She sighed.

"Your mother ruined you. You always were a spoilt brat." she growled. Jareth simply shrugged elegantly. "Fine. Fine, fine. I should get the fairies to bite your nose off for this, Jareth." She said tersely. Jareth arched one eyebrow at her agitation. A small cloud of fairies hovered about him.

"Bite me," he dared them, "See what comes of it." He grinned viciously at them. The fairies zipped out of sight.

Jareth turned back to Morgan, trading an innocent look for her indignant one. "Now, how much do you want her back, oh Blood Kin mine?" Jareth mocked. "What are you willing to give up in exchange for your child?" The question was clearly one that Morgan liked not a t all. Her lovely face twisted bitterly. He continued to look at her expectantly.

"I can give you a seamstress so skilled that she can spin gold from straw, or spiders back from silk. She can make lace out of snowflakes and silk from dawn. Does the prospect tempt you?" She watched his face with eager cunning. He yawned elaborately.

"I have clothing." He reminded her with a shrug.

"A star then, plucked from the sky in the waxing of dawn and caged in silver." She offered impatiently.

"That is an easy task, I could pick _all _of the stars from the heavens and rearrange them on a whim. I choose not to." He said in a studiously dispassionate manner.

"Oh, could you? Well why don't you just-" she stopped herself just in time, and huffed sulkily. "Alright. Fine. What about a marvelous horse which, in one bound, can cross the greatest ocean Aboveground? Will you trade my child for such a wondrous steed?" she wheedled. There was a sarcastic edge to her voice. Jareth smiled patronizingly at his mother's sister.

"Morgan, I could find a horse able to cross the widest Aboveground _ocean_, if I so desired. But that is an inexact and unruly sort of equine indeed. Do not waste your breath." He idly played with one of his crystals. She looked at it hungrily.

"I admit defeat, nephew. _What do you want in exchange?" _She asked in a facade of graciousness. Jareth smiled a smirk of blissful victory.

"Seven days, Morgan. I want you to play steward over my realm for seven days in exchange for my help to find your daughter Thelte." His aunt opened her mouth to protest. "_Stop._ I have been generous. I might have asked a year and a day of you. I might have cheated you, and revealed the location of one of your other female offspring. Do not try my patience, Aunt Morgan. You are great among mortals only, and I am a King. I suggest you leave and start searching for earplugs capable of dulling the sound of goblin voices." With that, Jareth disappeared. Morgan looked at the spot where her nephew had stood and swore bitterly.

"Oh, and I reserve the right to toss you headfirst into any of various unpleasant places if at the end of you term I come back to find you have worked some revenge on me, be it a Goblin Rebellion or pink curtains." The Goblin King's voice said from all around. Morgan started and then recommenced swearing, more viciously now.


End file.
